Porters sometimes ehn

A porter showed up in a room for bed check dressed like these, lol, we resemble bush meat?

EDITORIAL: ELECTION TIME IS WASTED TIME

If you participated in Thursday’s election, congratulations, you just wasted microliters of ink, and I’m sorry to say your vote didn’t count. Overtime, students have clamoured for a student’s union which we all know will never happen, at least until Bowen changes its name. The Bowen Baptist Student Fellowship has been the replacement for the widely entreated students union and as far as the university is concerned, the body is just a bunch of students who were selected to make the BBSF team complete.

The election process is so unfussy that no student actually gives a shit about how it goes, Thursday for instance was one of the nosiest and most rowdy day I have ever seen the chapel be, the first being when cafeteria tickets were distributed during Christmas carol. Joseph Stalin once said “it is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything” 

Why tell that man to type that list? Why allow the photocopier make that much copy? Why make the ushers collate paper that could have been used for other things? Why waste quality time that could have been well used by pillars communication? As minute as they sound, the stakes were high. The Chaplains know well who they want to work with and the election parody was just another act of feigned high principles.

Sudent take a leap of faith in soak away

The open soak away

I'm very sorry this gist is coming quite late, it took me a while to confirm the authenticity of this story. Strange things are indeed happening, if I told you someone fell in a soak away on Sunday night will you believe #holds laugh#, well I don’t even need you to believe cos it is TRUE

A 300 level bio chemistry student on Sunday evening fell into an open soak away in front of John hostel near the tap. His whole body was in the soak away, if not for the edge of the soak away he grabbed, he would have drowned in shit and urine, what a terrible way to die for someone that doesn't use glasses.

i don't think i have to state why he fell inside, dude was on cloud 9.

OPERATION SUICIDE GOES HAYWIRE

This has to be one of the strangest, biggest, funniest things that has happened this semester. A year 2 guy attempted to take his life at his department's board room (of all places in Bowen)
The guy is reported to be the president of humanities who was alleged to have embezzled about 300K (confam potential house of reps member). He faced SDC last week. I couldn't get any news fron the outcome
The suicide incident happened on friday morning after he was questioned at admin about mismanaging his department funds.
He was "saved" by a lecturer, Mr Aremu.
But really, if he wanted to kill himself, he could have tried other means like jumping in front of a moving bus, or drowning himself in the fish pond, hanging himself on one of the trees in the forest, no one would have noticed. Just an attention seeker........ mscheew.  In other news, Iwo is hot.

GIRLS FIGHT IN UPE

I’m Sure the news of the fight in the not so upper class female hostel for final year students popularly known as UPE 3 has spread round real good, but the new stuff is do u know what happened.

As much as I would have loved to reveal their identities, I can’t and am really sorry about that. I wasn’t there physically but from what I was able to gather it looks like a gang against gang fight which started late last semester and as almost all girl fights it has to do with a guy. when doesn’t it.

The build up to the fight ensued after a guy reported to be an Ibadan socialite sent a voice note to a Mass comm girl about a sociology girl who once aborted his pregnancy. The real fight then started when the soc girl started talking about her rival (Mass comm girl). Unfortunately for the one that got beaten most, they heard about it, stormed her room and started throwing slaps at each other. The fight lasted for almost thirty minutes.

No porter could intervene in the fight because they were all at the luncheon, so it was a fight to the end.

2 SNAKES KILLED IN 3 DAYS

A very big python was killed along chapel road on Monday evening after the rain pour. It was the choir master, Kunle Adams that sighted the snake first and alerted students nearby who joined in committing the murder offense, poor snake, even a bike man ran over it like 5 times after series of rocks and stones had been shattered on the snake's head.


This is a warning for guys who like trekking to the hostel from school, not like I am discouraging anybody, just want you all to be careful of snakes, this will be the second snake i will see killed in 3 days, the first was in boys hostel on Friday. if you like believe me

THE RETURN OF KUNLE RAMBO

Three blackberry phones were stolen in boy’s hostel yesterday. The alleged thief was reported to be Kunle, an ex student of Bowen.

The phones were stolen in quite an amusing style, Kunle who we all know to be an alien to the school marked 3 final year students with bold 9900 popularly known as bold 5. He asked for their phones one at a time with the excuse that he wanted to download stuff and magically disappeared.

Bowen gist was able to get two of the victim’s name, Jenyo, BFN and Ricky, Biz Ad. You needed to see the look on their faces :x

Next time your friend who was once a student asks you for anything, my brother think twice

MOVIE MARATHON CANCELLED :'(

The much anticipated movie marathon scheduled to hold today has been suspended for now. Rumours have it that the movies scheduled to be seen today was cancelled after the university’s councilor previewed the movies and realized that some scenes had Bowen PG18 or even 21 rating sef (SVNL) ….. I’m sure you know what I mean especially if u have watched flight ;) . Besides, we all know Bowen University is a Christian Missionary Private Institution. No one knows for sure if the event will ever take place. On the bright side, boys can save their N500 or N1000 or even N3000 for the ones that were planning to pay for their babe’s roommates.

ECO DEPARTMENT INTRODUCES VARSITY JACKET, ROUND NECK SALES

The Department of Economics has started the sale of varsity jackets and round necks.  The varsity jacket and round neck will be used for the department's week, but what makes it unique is that the varsity jacket can be purchased by any student, not compulsorily Economics students. The varsity jacket goes for N4,000 naira while the round neck is N2,000

Model in varsity jacket

   

See more photos after the cut

Bowen Community games kick off

Bowen community games kicked off today(March 6) with a soccer match between the South South and Osun. The South South won the game two goals to nil and. the match was a dramatic one as four red cards were produced, two for each side.
The next match will be on Friday(March 8), Arewa will be knocking horns with Oyo, time is 4pm.

ULTIMATE THEME SONG IN PROGRESS

After weeks of waiting, the final year song has finally showed face, it is not out per say but we at least know those who are in charge and we know the beat is ready.
The Ultimate theme song beat was produced by Xbay, and those expected to do justice to the beat are Gbale D, Flocheez, E man, Tosin Amuda,Tomi hydef and Danny vibes.
A song titled ultimate thank you had been earlier released, a section of the final year student felt it was too gospel, also their was no mention of ultimate in the song and didn't match their definition of the ultimate theme song, but nobody argued it was the theme song,
i personally think it was a group of final year students that wanted to express their gratitude to God and did so via music, the title was ultimate thank you not ultimate theme song.
Bowen gist will provide download links as soon as the song is released. it should be out by next week at most.

X bay to release new hit titled "Celebrate" today

A talented student artist and music producer Oladotun Oladumiye popularly known as X bay is set to release his single track titled "Celebration" by 12pm today. X bay is a 400 level student of Bio chemistry. The song was produced by Ojos
The track beat was formerly intended to be used for the ultimate final year song, but he changed his mind and made it a personal beat, the final year song beat has now been reproduced and it was done by X bay.
The song was originally meant to be released by 12pm. but one way one way sha, I stole the link hope he forgives me.
So guys, lets try and download this song and see how the final year song would have been. Rumors has it that he is working on his mixtape also.
The download link is http://t.co/nbW9NzDpOn

BBSF TO LAUNCH MAGAZINE

A magazine titled oracle produced by the BBSF unit is set to be released soon. The magazine has an attractive cover and a glossy feel. 
What baffles me about the publication is the heading of some of the stories, one heading reads "I took off my underwear", I couldn't read the story but I hope it is not what we both think. Another story is about oral sex, hmmmmmn, I rest my case at this point.
 In other news, the  BBSF president is now on low cut, he was forced to cut his hair yesterday when he went to the admin building.

Cinema saturday coming soon

So i got to found out about a film show organised by the Banking and Finance department, to be held at NLT on Saturday, March 9. Ticket fee is 500naira.
The film show tagged "Movie marathon" will last for 6hrs, 12-6pm. Movies to be seen are Pitch perfect, Flight and House at the end of the street, each film to take two hours respectively.
It is not everyday we see stuff like this in Bowen and am sure most students have seen this movies, but for fun and experience sake, it might be a good idea to go see one of the films.

Result aftermath; Student drinks jik after seeing result

A 300level Economics student, Busola drank jik after seeing her first semester results on Tuesday, She had 6A's and a F in STA312
Busola got to the room exclaiming how her father had threatened to kill her if she ever gets an F in any of her courses, his reason was that they are all geniuses in their family and she failing any subject will bring shame and disgrace to their household
she decided to relieve her father of the stress of killing her as promised. She brought out jik from her locker and drank it, her bunk mate on seeing her alerted other roommates and she was forced to vomit. Busola was later rushed to the clinic for further treatment.
Busola's parents came to school the next day(Wednesday) to take her home.
we hope she returns alive.

LEGAL LAUGHTER IN PICS

See more photos after the cut

GAY GUY EXPOSED

A lecturer once said in class that he has no problem with gay-ism as long as they don't stick anything towards him, the lecturer might have to be careful now, as a gay student has been identified. The gist is quite interesting.
The whole thing started when a 100 level guy started exchanging text messages with another guy, after a while the guy started making sexual advances to his chat buddy, the chat buddy played along and made him believe he was gay too. they then set up a meeting at SMS but one of them did not show up, the venue was later shifted to the laundry in mark hall, middle floor precisely at 2am.
The gay guy got to the laundry first and sent a message to his partner who joined him there afterwards.the straight guy had already informed all his friends who were waiting outside for the right time to intervene.
They then started rubbing vaseline on each other and it was reported that the gay guy was already climaxing, the other guy couldn't take it again and signaled to his friends outside to come in. by the time they saw the gay dude, they were to shocked to do anything because he happens to be their friend. The incident happened in the wee hours of Thursday
The hall administrators were informed and appropriate actions have been taken the guy was not seen throughout yesterday,